A Ocean of Pain
by eroticfantasyworld87
Summary: For 15 yr old Phoebe, the reality of her life is becoming to clear. Note : If you don't like pyshcology, do not read.


It was morning at the Halliwell manor. Prue's alarm goes off, informing her it was 6 :15 and time to get Phoebe up. Making her way into Phoebe's room, she snickers at the sight of Phoebe hanging off the bed. Shaking her, Prue shakes Phoebe awake.

"Uph...go away..." "Honey, time to get up for school. Now cmon up." Phoebe throws back the covers, and Prue goes back to her room. Phoebe gets in the shower, then gets dressed. Making her way into the kitchen, she sees Piper cooking breakfest.

" Good morning, Piper." "Good morning. Want a omlet ?" "Sure." Prue soon walks in, smiling at her sisters eating. "Save some for me ?" Piper smiles. "Of course. Here." Prue takes a seat, and begins eating. "Alright, Pheebs. Hurry up. Don't wanna be late." "Ok." 5 minutes later, Phoebe gets her backpack. Prue stands up. "Ok, sweetie. Let's go. Got everything ?" "Yup." They get in Prue's blazer, and drive to Phoebe's high school. "Have a good day Pheebs." Getting out, Phoebe goes inside. Prue drives to the muesum.

Phoebe makes her way into her first class, which is English. "Hi, Phoebe. How are you ?" "I'm good Carla. How are you ?" "Same here." The teacher clears her voice. "Ok, good morning class. Today will require your full attention. You will learn how to write a personal narrative. You will have a narrative due, in 4 days. This friday. If you fail to turn it in on time, it will get you points worth 2 grades off your semester report. Does everyone understand ?" (whole class.) "Yes." "Good, let's get started. Take out a notebook and take notes. Ok, a personal narrative tells of a life experience. Details are what make it is told from the author's point of view. Usually there is a life lesson. Questions ?" A boy raises his hand. "Um, does all the details have to be true ?" "Good is peferred the truth is told. Absoutly no serious crimes, can be written about." "Like what ?" "Such things as rape, murder, fraud, or robbery." "What if some of us, need to talk about one of those things ?" "Go to the counsler."

As the teacher continues to talk, Phoebe begins to think of everything she has been through. Growing up without a mom, grams dying, and Prue not really trusting her. It sends a terrible feeling through her body. One of guilt, shame, remorse, and extreme sadness.

Nothing had ever been easy. Holidays bithdays, and anniversies. At times it made the manor hard to live in. Seeing pictures, and hearing stories. Some of the worst arguements were over the past. A past she is slowly finding hard to cope with. A constant struggle.

What would she write about ? Writing or talking about any of those things, never was a pleasant experience. It always seemed like everyone judged. Like they couldnt understand the wierdness of having your sister as your mom. It just didn't seem fair, and not normal.

Soon class was over, Carla caught up with Phoebe in the hall. "Phoebe you ok ? You seemed zoned out." "Yeah, I was just thinking." "Oh ok. what you going to write about ?" "My mom." "What about her ?" "What it was like not having her around, memories."

7 hours later, Prue picks Phoebe up. It doesn't take long to notice hetr sister's distaught mood. "Pheebs, something wrong ?" "No, why you ask that ?" "You just looked upset." "I'm ok. Just tired is all." "Alright sweetie." Prue stops to get gas, and comes Phoebe asleep. Smiling, she drives home. Getting to the manor, she carries Phoebe in. Piper is shocked. "She ok ?" "Shh. Yeah, just tired." Laying Phoebe on the couch, Prue goes in the kitchen to talk to Piper. "I hope she's not getting sick Pipe. I cant afford to miss work." "Well, if she is, I'll stay home. It's not like her to sleep like that." "I know, we'll see how she does at dinner." "Ok." 3 hrs later, Prue wakes Phoebe for dinner. "I'm not hungry." "Well you need to eat. Now cmon." Phoebe drags herself to the dining room. Prue and Piper begin eating their prime rib. Phoebe however, just picks at her food. Prue becomes concerned. "Why aren't you eating ? Do you feel bad ?" "Kinda." Prue feels her forehead. "Baby, your warm. Cmere, I'll take you to my bed." Not hesitating, Phoebe allows Prue to carry her. After laying her in bed, Prue gets the themometer. It beeps, reading a 100.5 . "Get some rest honey. You have a fever." "Ok..." Soon Prue and Piper are finished eating. "Pipe, it's 8:20. I'm gonna go on to bed, ok ?"

"Ok. Night." "Night." She gets under the covers with Phoebe. Taking a good look at her, Prue sees tear stains. What could be making her cry ? Phoebe was usually cheerful,so Prue knew it had to be serious. Whatever it was, she would find out.

Morning came, Prue decides to not send Phoebe to school. She decides to call the principle. "Hello ? Principle York speaking." "Um, yes this is Prue Halliwell. Phoebe's guardian." "How may I help you ?" "Can you connect me to the 10th grade, english teacher please ?" "Yes, Miss Halliwell, hold on the line." "Ok." Ring...Ring...Ring... "Hello ? Stephanie Kayler speaker." "Ms. Kayler, this is Phoebe's guardian, Prue Halliwell. I was wondering if my sister has been given any major assigments ?" "Well yes, but why do you ask ?" "She's sick.I wanted to know about homework." "There is a major writing assignment.A personal narrative." "In the event of illness, can she make it up, or turn it in later. ?" "Only if she has a note from a doctor." "Ok, she will have that." "Alright then, I hope she feels better soon." "Thanks bye." "Bye." She immediatly calls work, and explains she can't come in. Then goes to Phoebe's room, and gets her some clothes. Then wakes Phoebe. "Ok honey, lets get you dressed. I'm taking you to the E.R" "No, I dont need the E.R" "No arguing. Cmon." Once Phoebe is dressed, Prue helps her to the car. 15 minutes later, they go inside the E.R. A nurse takes her vitals, finding Phoebe tempature normal. A doctor then comes in. After looking Phoebe over, the doctor looks at Prue. "Can I speak to you in the next room ?" "Yeah." Prue follows him. "Pyshically there's nothing wrong with your sister. My best guess, is stress." "Can it cause a fever ?" "At times, yes. I'm gonna give you a note saying your sister can not attend school for a couple days." "Ok." After getting the note, Phoebe is discharged. Getting in the car, Prue turns to Phoebe. "_Alright_, whats going on ?" "Nothing." "Dont lie. Something happened at school, didnt it ?" "What makes you think that ?" "Got a feeling. would it have something to do with your english class ? I talked to your teacher. She told me about the assignment." "I don't wanna talk about it." "Well, your going to. What are you planning on writing about ?" "Mom." "Oh Phoebe...that must be upsetting.

Why Didn't you tell me ?" "I knew you don't like talking about her." "Oh honey...We are gonna go somewhere." Prue drives in silence to the beach. "Prue I love the beach, but why did we come here ?" "Just follow me Pheebs."

Prue leads Phoebe to a bunch of boulders. Both of them sit down. "It's so beautiful Prue." "Yeah, it is but not when there's a violent storm" "Right now there's no storm though. It's just calm." "There is a storm brewing." "What do you mean, Prue ?" "_You_. You are the storm." "Uh ? I don't understand." "Just like a wave does at times, your emotions about the past are causing chaos." "Prue I accepted a long time ago, that I'll never have what most people do." "If only it were that easy. You can't find justice with the way things are. I'm very aware that while I've raised you, I can never replace mom." "I've done fine all these years with you. Now is no different." Prue shook her head and closed her eyes. "Yes, it is. Your older now, and it matters." "**Why** ? ! Damn it, why does it ?

Prue swallowed are. "Your a teenager who's drowning in grief. Time is everything to someone lost in a ocean. I cant let you die inside." "I won't, I'm not." "Yes you are. God knew this day would come. I should have known. It was selfish not to see the begining of this"

That was all Phoebe could take, so she got up and ran. Prue quickly chased after her. After about 2 minutes, she caught Phoebe and pinned her down. "Get off ! Get off !" "Phoebe stop it ! Listen to me ! **Listen** ! I cant make this go away ! This pain...I know it sucks, but I can help you deal with it !" "I dont need your help ! Leave me alone !" "I can't and I won't ! Mom wouldnt want this ! You to think about the pain constantly...to suffer !" "I don't !" "Yes you do ! You can't avoid grieving !" "I don't need to grieve !"

Prue had enough. With one swift motion, she sat up and pulled Phoebe in her lap. Then whispers in her ear. "It's ok to be sad sweetie." Phoebe starts fighting Prues hold and the lump in throat. "The day has come baby, you have to let go and let youself cry."

With those words, Phoebe isn't able to stop the sob within her from escaping. It was a bittersweet sound to Prue's ears. As she listened to Phoebe cry, Prue couldn't stop thinking about how she had done the right thing and saved Phoebe from herself.

In Phoebe's Journal the next day :

7/3/1988

_You seem far away, but yet so close._  
_How I would love to see you, and let you hold me close. To feel the heartbeat that gave me life. For now all I have is two sisters that look like you.I guess for now that will have to due, till one day I'm with you._


End file.
